49 ~ Baby Poly

I realized the other day that I was almost poly once--three years before I knew what the word meant.

One of my guy friends in high school, Ray, was pretty cute, and I was kinda crushing on him. He'd been crushing on me, too. In groups of friends like mine was back then--small, antisocial, and able to put up with bitches like me--everybody tends to crush on everyone else. We were both bisexual, and both more like the opposite gender; I wasn't a tomboy (I wasn't sporty), but I was laid-back, uninterested in looking pretty everyday, and generally masculine. He was the opposite. We were both pretty emo.

One day, we're talking on MSN, and we say we want to date each other. One problem--he has a girlfriend. He asked if she said yes if we could date. I said sure.

Well, she ended up saying no, but it almost happened. Now, it would be just that more likely to start, AND not burst into flames.

That is, if I ever get a date down here :)

48 ~ Naked Hygiene

Here is the era of hairlessness--in both women and men. Where words such as "manscaping" are not only vernacular, but implied and referred to as a societal norm and preference. Where porn stars are airbrushed, hairless, and mostly synthetic.

I highly disagree with this.

I was raised by a REAL man and a woman who LOVES it that way. Hair is natural; cellulite is prevalent. I've seen some older porn, and it's like another world--women with HAIR, and CELLULITE, and they are considered SEXY. Whoa. It's almost surreal.

In men, I like hair. It's masculine, which is why I am attracted to men; I'm bi, so if I wanted a woman, I'd fuck one (and have). In women, I also like hair; it's soft, and fun to play with. Not all shaved pussies look childlike, but it IS the first thing that comes to mind.

I have pubic hair. I do not shave. For one thing, it gets itchy and painful when I shave ANYWHERE, so down there...no thanks. (And my friends love giving me every TMI tidbit imaginable, and the horror stories strike fear into my soul.) I don't even shave my legs because it's "right"--I do it when I feel like it, because I like the way it feels. It makes me feel sexy, all that smooth skin...just not for my vagina. (I do, however, trim...when I remember to. I let my hairy hygiene slip a lot, because I don't have anyone to have sex with, so it doesn't affect me in practical terms.)

I will probably have cellulite for the rest of my life. Even while losing weight, even with exercise, unless I go crazy with it or get plastic surgery, it will be there. AND IT IS NOT AN IMPERFECTION. It is proof that I have meat on these bones, and I rather like the feel of them. And stretch marks. I am all about scars; texture is yummy. Can you tell I'm tactile ;)

Naked hygiene has gone somewhere in my generation that I do not agree with, and that I will never agree with. I eagerly await the next changeover when pin-up models return as the societal definition of beauty. Until then, I shall be myself, and I shall be proud! Don't like it? Don't fuck me!

47 ~ Bones

I am a fan of the TV show, BONES, but not an episode goes by that something in it does not tick me off.

Granted, most things tick me off, and on a regular basis, but BONES never fails to not only include, but to EMPHASIZE things that make me angry. Case and point, an episode I watched today.

I was surprised at the turnabout today, because it is usually Temperance Brennan that rubs me the wrong way, but this time it was Seely Booth. Which is saying something, because he is extremely sexy. He is also Catholic, and annoyingly vanilla, mainstream, and narrow-minded. This episode, however, was far worse than usual.

The background of the mystery was "pony play" (I believe that is the term they used), a fetish where people dress up as, you guessed it, ponies and had riders, the whole shebang. Not a fetish that interests me, but I'm cool with it; it isn't surprising that it exists, and it doesn't weird me out like some kinks do. (I am cool with most kinks I have heard of, but dealing with extremely dangerous components is a huge turn-off.)

In any case, Booth was a total dick throughout the entire episode, calling them freaks, treating them like there was something wrong with them, degrading kink in general. At the end of the episode he even had a little speech, saying that sex with kink is lesser because it's making love that is truly amazing, yada yada ya.

A few disclaimers: I believe that sex with a special connection is better. I believe that casual sex is not in the same league as sex in a deep relationship. And I do not believe that kink is a substitute for emotional depth.

That's just is! It should be an ADDITION. But the woman of the deceased was even dumping her husband for having this kink. Granted, he was also having an affair, and I don't think that is acceptable, but I didn't exactly blame him. Her first reaction when she saw the kink? "He's a pervert."

That is a typical reaction, so the character didn't anger me, the general opinion did. Seely exemplified this. And I was in a rage over it. Close-mindedness prevailed in that episode.

Brennan, however, was totally awesome, talking about the perfectly normal, perfectly healthy presence of fetishism in human sexuality. Unlike the rest of the opinions involved.

Once again it is proven that I can NEVER work with hardcore scientists, Christians, or vanilla people. I'd either scare them, convert them, or kill them. Or they'd kill me. Fun!

46 ~ I Take After My Mother

Jonah and I are very good friends. He is the first friend I made here in Texas, and he is pretty awesome. My mother and my grandmother think he's adorable, and were constantly teasing me about him, assuming we are dating because I hang out with him a lot. I keep reinforcing that this is not the case (without going into details about how much we've discussed this) and they have finally taken the hint.

Because yesterday, I showed my girly side :)

The last time I hung out with him, all day, at his dorm, he gave me a bunch of statuettes. One of a wolf, one of an eagle, and one of a horse. His sister made them, and he sells them so he is less poor. Well, he gave me three, as well as an eagle necklace (to go along with the wolf necklace he gave me the first time we met), and I tried to pay him a bit--I had five bucks on me--but then he bought me more food. I told my parents this, and my mom was thrilled.

I reinforced it with: "We're not in a relationship, and never will be. Whether he's trying to woo me or not, I have been perfectly clear on this matter, and he likes giving me stuff anyway. I'm totally cool with that!"

Apparently, I take after my mother, only I'm not cruel :)

45 ~ Hook Up

I keep thinking "my family couldn't get any cooler," and they keep proving me wrong :)

My grandma has been trying to hook me up with someone for a while now. She's always talking about young, cute guys who work with her, or who are sons, grandsons of her coworkers. It is not panned out, for several reasons.

Now my dad is doing the same thing!

Apparently, a twenty-year-old is doing some clinicals at my dad's work. He caught my dad's attention by complaining about the religious nuts at Baylor, where he attends college. He reminds my dad of Sandusky from Tropical Thunder, and he's quirky and weird, which we approve of in this family.

So...maybe.

My dad said something about inviting him to dinner. Here's hoping!

44 ~ If Only I Had A Boyfriend...

I could spend the night away from my family.

I could take out my frustrations.

I could cry on a shoulder.

43 ~ WANTED: Whipping Boy

BDSM has interested me ever since I realized I enjoyed pain, and blood, and bondage. But my interests have always been softcore: biting, licking, tied wrists.

Until now.

I am not especially interested in whipping a guy (girls don't enter into my BDSM fantasies), but the aftermath makes me drool in all the right places. Swollen, bloody flesh makes my mouth water, and both tending to the wounds and playing with them...well, that interests me a great deal.

I am a dominant personality, so girls don't interest me here (submissive women are the opposite of my type, but an emotional relationship with a butch girl is more than enough for me), and I am a feminine person, by MY standards, so seeing a larger, broader person being at my mercy...heeheehee.

I need to get into the dating scene, because I am rearing to go :D

42 ~ I Am A Poly Dictionary

I have been used as a dictionary and thesaurus as long as I can remember. I am a voracious reader, and I have a gift for remembering not only all the new words I read, but how to spell them, what they mean, and what other words are similar to them, and the nuances of their differences.

Last semester in psychology, my class was mostly ignorant to the fact that bisexuality existed, much less pansexuality, what transgenderism really means, and so forth. So I researched the hell out of everything I could--learning a lot of new information in the process, and solidifying what I already knew--and presented this new information to the class. Alone. Of my own free will. For no reason other than to educate a small slice of the population of Texas.

I am certainly not an expert on polyamory or any subculture, for that matter, but I have been exposed to them a lot more than almost all of my peers, even my liberal friends up North. Partly because I am an odd swan even among other ugly ducklings, but mostly because I thirst for knowledge like I thirst for words.

My best friend, Rose, was in a class discussion on sex, and monogamy came up (as it often does). She immediately thought, Ooh, I should bring up poly and stuff! But there wasn't much time left in class, and she couldn't remember all the info I'd thrown her way, regardless. So she plans on bringing it up next class, or on the student disccusion boards.

I am, needless to say, thrilled. I asked her what she remembered, refreshed her memory, kept away from the minutiae (mostly), and dictated that she accredit this knowledge to me when she educated her peers.

I am always willing to learn. I learn every day, and life is so exciting for it. Now if only I'd get a boyfriend, already...

41 ~ ARGH

College life has been KILLING me lately. I don't WANT to not blog like I plan, but OMG I am worn out.

Tomorrow I should be alive enough to post. Not THINK, but since when are blogs based in thought? ;)